The One With Yoga

You may be expecting Pet Peeves part two, which will come eventually, but today you get the story of me deciding to do yoga.

So this weekend, I was visiting my wonderful sister in Charlotte. For some unknown reason, may it be genetics or years of practice, my sister and I can eat an insurmountable amount of food. This phenomenon is only exponentially impacted when we are together. So naturally, it was after our third gluttonous feast that I decided I needed to start taking better care of myself. This may also have been attributed to the fact that I was in lululemon looking at all their cute yoga clothes and fit floor models. It could have also been the shame of over eating for the third time in 12 hours. Either way,it was at that moment, nibbling on the brownie in my purse, that I decided yoga was the sport for me.

So today I popped in my Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown DVD and gave it a whirl. I met Jillian Michael's last year when I attempted her 30 day Shred DVD. That became nothing more than a three day battle zone of soreness and self loathing, where I mostly whimpered while doing whatever she told me on the television screen. This was accompanied by me screaming, "I hate you Jillian. I. Hate. You." from some awkward position on the floor. But today I felt ready to go.

I started strong during the warm up, breezed easily through Mountain and Cobra (These are Yoga poses for those of you who aren't "yogis" like me). . . but then somewhere around Crescent pose, I lost focus. It was about this time when I couldn't figure out which leg I had been exercising (I feel that if I was doing in correctly, the pain should have been an indicator, but I felt none of this).

My confusion made me tired, so I dropped into Child's Pose, and just hung out on the floor. I noticed a hole in my yoga matt. I stretched my hands out and then tried a Downward Dog that the ladies were doing on screen. Only then did I notice I was a little shaky. Not wanting to lapse into hypoglycemic shock, I thought perhaps a snack would help my stamina. I grabbed a bag of blue berries and some potato chips from the counter and sat "criss cross applesauce" (this is the new PC version of "Indian Style") on my yoga mat to watch Jillian and friends work out. I sat, incredulous, as the women on TV did some complicated pretzel/balance move. I yelled angrily at the screen, "I don't think so Jillian. Nope, not for me."

I was disgusted, but watched entranced for another minute, while I finished my snack. Next I returned to Child's pose and arose exhausted. This experience had been quite eye opening.

And people say yoga is difficult.